Hi there!

So it seems more and more time passes inbetween each time I post here, which really isn't surprising at all to me (after all, it's my life and I know what's going on in it). However I figured it was about time to come clean for why I don't tend to post here all that often anymore.

Really, it's no big surprise, just a culmination of factors...

One, being the fact that I still work at Fry's Electronics (despite what I may have said in one of my past entries about quitting). Until I can manage to find something more stable, or get fired (which is unlikely but could happen), the insurance at Fry's is keeping me there along with learning some life lessons. As a result, keeping a full-time job of this nature is sort of sapping my energy or motivation to do much else.

Two, and this is probably the biggest one that keeps me from here, being the fact that I feel DA's journal function is kind of useless for me. I don't like to pour my life out onto a place like DA where there are no filters, everyone has access to the written content, etc. I have a livejournal (yes, go ahead and giggle, I still do) account for that where I can vent to a semi-'safe' environment. Here on DA it just seems a little exposed so I feel very uncomfortable about posting what all goes on. I'm working on simply posting topics that are what I would consider 'DA Safe' but that will take time and discipline to update on such things...and well, we all know how well I am with that.

Three, it's very true I have some issues with low self-esteem. I'm working with a therapist to overcome this but it's a slow and arduous process. Every now and then I get spurts of energy and esteem that ultimately go nowhere because it is a false start and nothing ever truly comes of it. My gallery right now is probably a pretty good example of that within itself. Anyway, there's no real 'fix' for this right now other than to trudge through it.

So that seems to be the main 3 reasons/categories I don't really post here. Obviously number two applies more to the journal side of things but they all relate to my activity here. I hope you guys, whomever is devwatching me at least, can understand and not totally count me out.

I'm working on this whole 'getting organized' and 'growing up' thing.

For the record, it still sucks though.

(Edit: Trying out the new skin feature because I am lazy and the things are pretty!)